Mentor Corner Activities and Resources

Activities for Mentors and Mentees

Self-Esteem

My Name is a Poem (Appropriate for Grades 2-5)
Goal: To help the child focus on his own unique characteristics by using his name as the basis for a writing activity.

Materials: Paper, pencil, crayons, markers, etc.

What to do: Have your mentee write his first name across the top of the paper. Next, have him write the letters down the left-hand side and then end the column with his last name. Tell your mentee to think of a word that describes him for each of the vertical letters and read the poem! (For younger children, you can either write a poem for your mentee or work with your mentee to look up words in a dictionary.) When the poem is finished, let your mentee decorate his poem with crayons and other art tools.

Sing A Song of Self-Esteem (Appropriate for Grades 4-8)
Goal: To help your mentee achieve a positive self-image through a medium popular with adolescents - music.

Materials: CD with one or more of the suggested songs; CD player; lyric sheet(s) of the song(s) you select.

What to Do: Listen to one or more of the following songs with your mentee:

Ask your mentee to read aloud the verses of the song(s) from the lyric sheet(s). Talk to your mentee about what the lyrics of the song(s) mean to him.

Follow-up: Assist your mentee in writing a song or a rap about his own positive feelings.

Keeping in Touch over the Summer

Many of you may be wondering how to keep in touch with your mentee over the summer. While it is nice to maintain your relationship, keep in mind that giving your personal information (home or work addresses or phone numbers) is not always a good idea. Children may show up at your door or place of work, so use your own discretion.

Easy ways to keep in touch include:

• Exchanging Email addresses if computer access is available.
• Leaving stamped and addressed postcards for mentees to mail. Generally in-school mentoring programs forbid contact outside the school but sometimes schools will act as a go-between by forwarding mail through the school address.
• Joining a community-based mentoring program such as Big Brothers/Big Sisters. Call 302-995-6025 to find out more information about the bridge program at Big Brothers/Big Sisters.

Not sure what to write to your student about? Here are some topics to touch on:

• Ask how the child felt about your time together and how she feels about not seeing you now.
• Share your feelings about the mentoring experience and what it has meant to you.
• Encourage him to keep a journal to express his feelings during the break
• Share any exciting summer plans you have and send him postcards from places you travel to.

Always remember, your time spent with the child has been very special and has impacted both of you greatly. The gifts of self-respect, encouragement, and friendship that you have given the child have immeasurable significance in her life.

Anger Management

It happens to all of us, some more often than others, but sooner or later EVERYONE gets angry. How one handles life's little annoyances can effect not only their relationships with others but also their physical health. Our body goes through damaging physiological processes like high blood pressure from the increased stress that anger brings. Many of us could learn how to handle our anger better, and it's an important life skill that you as a mentor can help teach to your mentee. Learning to deal with anger at an early age will help children cope and stay calm when they are faced with difficult issues as they go through life. As mentors, you can guide the students in figuring out what is angering them, help them relax themselves and support them by being a sincere listener.

How to Take the GRRRR out of Anger, a book by Elizabeth Verdick & Marjorie Lisovskis, is a quick read with tons of great tips on helping control anger. The information can be used for all age groups, even adults. The book can be read together with your mentee, or used as a resource.

First, the book describes the different ways anger can be expressed. Screaming, stomping about and pouting are obvious ways of expressing anger. But there are some indirect ways anger can be expressed also. Some children become bullies, taking their anger out on others. Some play mind games: giving the "cold shoulder", spreading rumors, giving away others' secrets and so on. Some turn their anger inward, berating themselves for every mistake or shortcoming, real or imagined. Some simply try to ignore it. However, anger can only be "stuffed away" for so long. The authors describe it as trying to push a beach ball underwater: "No matter how hard you try to force it down, it finds a way to come back up." (Page 20)

Children need to learn to recognize when they are getting angry and what skills they can utilize to clear their heads and keep the anger from turning violent against themselves or others. A list of quick ways to get the GRRR out is given:
Get physical – do something outside, but avoid aggressive games with others
Do something with your hands – squeeze a pillow or ball to release the anger
Vent – talk to someone you're not mad at who will listen sympathetically to you
Talk "smart" to yourself – use positive words to calm yourself down
Breathe! – use relaxation exercises.

In their message to parents and teachers, Verdick & Lisovskis state that many children learn how to handle anger from adults. Anger can be used to signal problems the child is having (stress, trouble with school work or peers), so it needs to be dealt with in a positive way and not be ignored. Ideas for helping kids deal with anger include:
Make it a point to deal with your own anger in positive ways
Model appropriate ways to handle anger
Know the signs that a child needs help with anger – unhappiness the child can't explain, slamming doors, intentionally breaking things, fighting, sleep problems, stealing and so on
When the child is angry, try to discover the reason
Help children learn anger-management skills
Let children know you expect them to manage conflicts in respectful, constructive ways
Keep the lines of communication open
Get outside help if needed.

Children should learn it's ok to say "I'm sorry" because it will make them and the other person feel much better, and help stop a small anger issue from becoming a much larger one. They should also feel encouraged to find help if they have difficulty handling their anger. The school counselor may be able to give advice or intervene in conflicts between the child and others. He or she has the training to help the child deal with social issues that might be difficult for you to manage. Always escalate a problem to the school counselor, mentor coordinator, vice-principal or principal if you believe or suspect the child might be a physical or emotional danger to himself or others.

As you discuss anger with your mentee and ways to deal with it, a great piece of advice to give is that, "Just because you've gotten mad in the past doesn't mean you have to react that way now."

"How to Take the Grrrr Out of Anger", Elizabeth Verdick and Marjorie Lisovskis, Free Spirit Publishing, 2003.

Who are you?

Ask your mentee to talk about five things he or she likes.
Ask your mentee to talk about five things he or she doesn't like.
What does your mentee think are his or her three most important strengths?
What does your mentee think are his or her three areas of weakness?
Ask your mentee what he or she likes to collect.
What does your mentee do after school? After school activities?
Ask your mentee what she or he wants to learn more about.
If your mentee could have any kind of pet what would it be?
Your mentee's favorite movie is?
On Saturdays your mentee likes to...
If your mentee could be anyone for a day it would be...
Your mentee's favorite book character is...
When your mentee grows up he or she would like to be...
Your mentee's two favorite TV shows are...

Getting to Know Each Other

Here are 16 questions to help you get to know your mentee:
My mentee's name is...
Name of mentee's school and grade
Do you have a nickname?
How many brothers and sisters do you have?
How long have you lived in this city/town?
What do you like to do with siblings?
What are your favorite foods?
What are your favorite colors?
What is your favorite book? Do you like to read?
What is your favorite television show?
Do you have any pets? If so, what kind, how old, what are their names?
What makes you happy?
What makes you sad?
What is your favorite sport?
What is your favorite subject in school?
Your birthday is...

Make sure you don't treat this as a formal interview. Have fun with it. Pretend it's an on-screen TV interview with a pretend microphone and goofy news people voices. Go back and forth asking questions or ask in groups of 2 or 3. Write down the answers so each of you can have a copy.

After your "interview" ask your mentee to give you a tour of their school. This builds self esteem because they know a lot about something an adult does not.

What to Do When the Talking Stops

What to do with your mentee can sometimes become a challenge. You've played all the games in the resource room and talked yourselves out for the time being, and you're searching about for ideas of fun activities to do with your mentee. The next time you're in this situation, try one of ideas listed below. Many of them came from books in our lending library, including The Everything Tween Book by Linda Sonna, Ph.D. (Adams Media Corporation, Avon, Massachusetts, 2003.)

Collect something. The possibilities are endless, there are so many things to collect! Items that are cheap and simple to find work best at the beginning. Collecting postcards of places the child or you have been is a wonderful springboard for sharing stories about your experiences. Collecting interesting rocks can also be a way of evoking memories of where a particular rock was found and how. Signature books have long been popular, and favorite teachers and special friends can be "celebrities", too!

Start a journal. This might be a good hobby for the summertime, when you are separated, to share with each other in the fall. Make a journal with the child similar to the scrapbook described earlier, or buy a simple school notebook and decorate it together. Have the child write or draw pictures about her experiences during the summer.

Teach the child a craft. Can you knit, embroider, quilt or cross-stitch? Many older children would love to learn how to do these, and appreciate the time and special attention they will get as you teach them these new skills. How about juggling or card tricks? Remember, these hobbies are not gender specific and that little boy might really be interested in knitting. (Remember that football player Rosie Greer knit in his spare time? And girls can be jugglers too!)

Try a game of hangman. It's a great way to sneak in new vocabulary words.

Make a photo album with pictures of every time you meet. Use a disposable camera and preserve your memories together.

Play a game. Bring a board game or card game from home the mentee may never have heard of/played before. Choose a game you are not familiar with and let your mentee teach you!

Learn origami. Collect colored sheets of paper and pick up an origami book from your library. Practice the art of folding paper together. Make a jungle or zoo or garden from your creations.

How about a game of Jacks? Bet it's been a while since you even thought about Jacks and that red bouncy ball. Challenge your mentee to a game and see if you still have what it takes!

Learn some phrases/words in a new language. French, Itallian, Spanish, German, etc. Do some research on the culture of the language and prepare a report for the child's class. Try asking their teacher if a specific culture will be covered in the child's school work and commingle the two.

Encourage your mentee to keep a record of meetings. Ask the child to keep a journal and ask the child to write down his or her thoughts each day after meeting together. Stress that this is confidential unless he or she wants to share it. Girls will probably be more amenable to this than boys since it is similar to keeping a diary. Reluctant boys might at least be willing to record the dates of the meetings with their mentors; the lengthening number of entries becomes a concrete record of the commitment to them. Writing about eh time together, even if sporadic, will help mentees develop reflection skills. It will also be useful to them near the end of the mentoring relationship to se the changes that have occurred. Mentees may come to value the notebook as symbol of friendship.

Let the mentee be the expert. Discover something the mentee is knowledgeable about and let him or her be the teacher. One woman mentor brought a computer football game for her male mentee to play. He explained the rules of the game and the types of plays to her. Another mentor had a Muslim mentee. He encouraged his mentee to teach him about his religion and share the significance of Muslim religious holidays as they occurred during the school year. When the mentee has the opportunity to be the expert, and the mentor shows genuine interest, the mentees sense of competence and self-worth may blossom.

Work on skills your mentee would like to improve. One student, who had been hired by a fast food restaurant, was uneasy about her ability to count change. The mentor brought paper and coins and practiced with her until she felt capable of managing this aspect of her job. She also helped her mentee study for her driving for her driving permit. Mentors might also show mentees how to balance a checkbook or savings account.

Discuss a current event from a newspaper or magazine article with your mentee. Encourage the student to express his or her own opinion about it.

Bring magazines that would appeal to the interests of the mentee Sports magazines (such as Sports Illustrated), fashion magazines ( like Seventeen), magazines of specific ethnic groups (such as Ebony) are possibilities. Look through them together and talk about some of the articles and photographs.

Share cultural traditions. Differing traditions can be fertile ground for conversation and better understanding of one another. Mentors can explain some of the special aspects of their heritage and encourage mentees to share theirs.

Find a creative way to deal with an area of concern in your mentee's life. A student suffered the loss of a treasured dog during a crisis in his life a number of years previously. He still felt sadness about the loss. His mentor helped him make a simple drawing of his dog and carve it out of wood. He received credit for the completed project in his careers class.

Find mutual interests to share. One mentor discovered her mentee writes poetry, as she does. They share poetry with each other. Adolescent poetry often reveals the internal struggles and concerns of young people and can provide new avenues of conversation.

Help the mentee develop decision-making skills. One mentor had her mentee write in a column all the positives that could result from a particular decision and in another column all the negatives. Putting these on paper helped the mentee clarify the issue, sort out the possible consequences of this decision and evaluate whether it would be a wise decision.

Create a pictorial life journey. Show the mountain tops and the valleys, the special events and the meaningful persons along the way. Use symbols of rain, lightning bolts or sunshine, happy or sad faces, or different colors for different emotions. Then continue the journey into the future. What is on the road ahead? When both the mentor and mentee create and share their journeys, trust and understanding are built. All that is needed is a little creativity.

Share the discovery of five new words a week. The words mentors have to learn might be jargon or slang that the mentee can define for them.

Assist your mentee in organizing school work and developing study schedules. One mentor showed his mentee how to use a business planner to help organize his time. The student now carries it with him.

Attend class with your mentee. Important insights are gained when a mentor experiences the classroom firsthand. Ask the mentee and teacher permission to attend class with him or her.

Bring something special to share. Perhaps something special like a hobby or an interesting object. Bring something that has particular meaning such as a treasured item from a grandparent. Share the story behind it. Ask the mentee to also bring something that is of particular interest or significance to him or her. These make excellent entrances to conversation.

Help keep your mentee accountable for attendance and work completed (if this has been a problem). Ask each week if he or she missed any school or did not complete school work. Explore the reasons for the absence of incomplete work, help develop goals for the following week and review progress each week. However, be sure this is done in a friendly, helpful way. Mentors are not teachers or parents, but supportive caring friends.

Make Popsicle stick dolls. Use Popsicle sticks (available in any craft store) or clothes pins for bodies, and adorn them with scraps of fabric, lace, yarn, pipe cleaners, sequins and so on, using craft glue to hold your creations together. You could also stuff a sock with fiberfill and tie it off in sections to make a squashy body to decorate. (Baby socks have a wonderful soft texture!) You could even sew some socks together ahead of time and stuff them to make a multi-limbed doll. Let your imagination loose!

Sock puppets are lots of fun. Dr. Sonna suggests that they try the sock on their hand first, and mark the locations for eyes, nose, ears and so on with a marker or chalk. Yarn for hair, buttons for eyes and red felt for a tongue are great additions. A bow tie can denote a boy doll, and a hair bow can denote a girl. Once you've made a few of them, have a puppet show together!

Invent a new board game. Use a piece of cardboard for the board game and draw the design with markers. Basic components can include dice, an egg timer or kitchen timer, buttons for playing pieces, and index cards or paper cut to size. Have fun deciding what the players have to do to advance around the board.

Make a scrapbook or photo album about the child. Give the child a disposable camera to take pictures of his family, friends and pets, or take pictures of the child in his classroom, on the playground, with his teachers, friends and with you. Make a book with heavy paper, using a hole punch to make holes on one side which you then lace together with yarn or ribbon to make a binding. Mount the pictures with glue, and use magic markers to make captions. Get creative with borders of colored paper, photos cut into interesting shapes, or colored stamps or stickers. Paste in some favorite drawings, or draw directly in the book. It will become a treasured keepsake for the child.

Use a purchased craft set. Craft sets are available for all sorts of items: jewelry, origami (Japanese art of folding paper), potholders, paper flowers, leather wallets, string art, polymer clay for sculpting, and just about anything else you can think of. Model cars and airplanes and glider kits are still popular. Perhaps you could work together to make that perfect birthday gift for a family member, or a holiday gift for the teacher, or matching keepsakes for the two of you.

Start a Hobby. Hobbies are wonderful pastimes for children. With a little thought you can start the child on a hobby that will give hours of satisfaction and can help foster your relationship.